Not Quite a Damsel in Distress
by Master-Magician
Summary: Piper was biting her lip so hard she was close to drawing blood. This was just too much watching the raiders fall all over each other with panic over one person. Part of her contemplated laughing in the raiders faces first chance she got to do so.


**Idea for this one comes from a reviewer who only appeared as "guest". Just a simple piece of somewhat funny and fluff.**

 **Enjoy.**

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"Are these guys amateurs or what?" Piper had to contain her laughter. Seriously, she knew raiders were rarely the sharpest knife in the arsenal, but this was a whole new level of stupidity.

The reporter did have to give them a little credit though. Sneaking into Diamond City, catching her in an alleyway while she was taking a shortcut, then creeping back out all without being spotted. Only the truly foolish could get that lucky.

The ropes used to tie her hands hadn't lasted two minutes. All she had to do was slip her hands under her legs to reach for the concealed knife at the small of her back. One cut later and Piper's hands were freed.

These morons hadn't even searched her properly!

Any raider with two brain cells would have found that knife after the most basic of weapon checks. All these guys had done was take the pistol from her leg holster. They even missed the bobby pins tucked behind the pencils on her wrist.

Granted, Piper sucked at picking locks. But the ones for this little storage closet were some of the worst she'd ever seen. Hell she could probably kick the door down, and she wasn't even that physically strong. The small pieces of metal actually weren't even hers. She'd just started carrying spares for Nathaniel and even when he wasn't around, it had become a habit.

The thought of Nathaniel brought a smile to Piper's lips. Yeah, she could get out of her all on her own. But there was no reason to turn down a free show.

"Hey, who's the chick?" The voice came from a hole in the nearby wall.

Now with curiosity piqued, Piper crawled over to the spot to get a look. There were several raiders seated at a table, two more having just arrived judging by the sack they tossed on the table.

"That is our new meal ticket." Even if Piper couldn't see him, she could hear the smugness in his voice. At his buddy's confused look, he continued. "You know, Piper Wright? Big fancy reporter from Diamond City? Me and the boys got her last night."

The newcomer raider visibly paled. "Oh shi... you didn't hurt her did you?"

"Nah." The first raider waved a hand. "Well... Jackie tried having a bit of fun with her."

If a man could look anymore alarmed, Piper had hadn't seen it. "He didn't..."

"I said tried, he didn't get far. Let's just say he's going to be having some lady issues for a while." Piper almost burst into laughter again. She had to cover her mouth to hide the sound lest they discover she was listening. The other raiders had warned 'Jackie' that he shouldn't try to touch Piper. Piper had never seen a raider cry that much after only a single kick.

Needless to say, the guy learned his lesson. Ever since, the rest of the gang had thrown her into the closet and gave her a wide birth. More than a few looking upon her with fear while they did so. Seeing raiders nearly wet themselves over a single woman almost made the headache from getting knocked in the back of the head worth it.

"I figure she'll bring us about a thousand caps, as a start." The raider leaned back in his chair with arms folded and the biggest grin. He must have thought he was the smartest man in the world. Someone who came up with the perfect get rich quick scheme.

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT!"

Apparently some of the other raiders didn't share the same idea.

"Hey easy on the ears man, what?" The raider whacked his ear a couple times.

The other one answered by stepping forward and grabbing the former by his shirt. "The woman you snatched is the wife of Nathaniel, the mercenary with a rep remember?" The raider shook his fellow roughly as if it would help make his point.

It wasn't the first time someone mistook Piper for Nathaniel's wife. Yes they were together, and yes she they wore wedding rings, but they weren't actually married. Then again, they might as well be with how close they were. Regardless, it warmed Piper's heart to think about it.

"So? He's got lots of money, and if he wants to see his wife again he'll pay up."

Wham, one punch and the raider in the chair was thrown to the floor. Just as he sat up, the other was roughly lifting him back up. "So you're going to try and intimidate Nathaniel, the guy who clears out feral ghouls nests and super mutant lairs as a day job? The same one who's slaughtered dozens of our buddies?"

Whatever response was coming from the other raider stopped with mouth partway open. Piper could imagine the gears turning in his head as he actually thought about what he had done. She knew the exact moment the raider understood his screw-up. "Oh shit!"

"Yeah, oh shit is right!" The standing one of the pair stepped back and began pacing. "Okay, we can fix this. Just put her back, yeah, put her back and move to a different hideout. All he gotta do is take her back to Diamond City."

"Uhhh..." A previously silent raider spoke up. "We kinda already sent word she was being held for ransom here."

"SHIT! Okay, new plan. We march her out to the front and hand her over for free as soon as Nathaniel gets here. Give back whatever crap she was carrying too."

A collective groan was heard among some of the quieter raiders.

"I don't care! I'd rather be poor than dead."

Piper was biting her lip so hard she was close to drawing blood. This was just too much watching the raiders fall all over each other with panic over one person. Part of her contemplated laughing in the raiders faces first chance she got to do so.

"Okay go get her. He's probably on his way here right..." The rest of the raider's words were cut short by a loud boom from nearby.

"He's here!" One of the raiders squealed, actually squealed like a little girl before running away, forgetting his gun in the process. "Every man for himself!"

The rest of the raider gang was in no better shape. All having succumbed to a mad scramble to form some kind of defense of their hideout. All the while, gunshots could be heard from seemingly everywhere .

Piper didn't have a snowballs chance in hell of holding it back now. After that raider screamed, she had degenerated into hysterical laughter. A tiny part of her thought it might be wrong to take such sadistic pleasure in the raider's fear and panic, but the rest of her mind reminded her these people could barely be considered human.

With nothing else to do, Piper rose to her feet and stood before he door. Tapping her foot and putting on her best 'impatient' look. While she did so, the gunshots were swiftly approaching.

"She... she's in here." A voice whimpered from in the hallway. Within seconds, a key was placed in the lock and the door was opened. The first person Piper saw was the raider that tried to come up with a plan, the second being Nathaniel directly behind him with a rifle to the raider's head.

As hard as she tried, her mock impatience bubbled away with the appearance of her boyfriend. All she could do was grin like a madwoman.

"You okay in there Piper?" Nathaniel poked the raider in the back of the head none too gently with the rifle until he stepped aside.

"Just fine. Took you long enough, I was getting bored."

Nathaniel's scowl vanished when his gaze moved to Piper, replaced by a large grin. That lasted for a few seconds until he turned back to the raider. "You kept your end of the deal, now get lost."

"Thank you, thank you." The raider sounded no less panicked as he fled from the room in a near sprint, avoiding Nathaniel's eyes at all costs.

"Pipe... oof." Nathaniel was cut off by a charging Piper crushing him in a hug. Nathaniel returned the embrace with the one arm not holding a rifle.

"I knew you'd come for me Blue." Piper smiled into Nathaniel's neck.

"Always will." Nathaniel replied without missing a beat, his hand pressed to her lower back keeping her close.

"So does this mean you're going to carry me?" Piper put on the best puppy eyes she could manage.

Nathaniel's only response was the arch of an eyebrow.

"Wasn't that how it worked in all those fairytales?" Piper began like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "The dashing hero storms the enemy castle and carries the princess off to a happily ever after?"

Nathaniel's eyebrow rose higher.

"Come on Blue." Piper pouted. "I've never gotten to be a damsel in distress before."

"Like you're the damsel in distress type." Nathaniel rolled his eyes before slinging the rifle onto his back. Piper was only able to blink once before she was literally swept off her feet and being hefted into Nathaniel's arms bridal style. "Better?"

"Much better." Piper confirmed, nuzzling Nathaniel's chest like a cat. She barely even noticed when Nathaniel carried her out.

"I can't believe raiders could be that stupid, I mean kidnap you? What did they think was going to happen?" Nathaniel questioned, whether it was to himself or Piper the woman was unsure.

"They actually thought you'd pay the ransom!" Piper answered anyway and even howled in laughter. "You should have seen the look on their faces when they figured it out."

Both shared a laugh at that.

"So back to Diamond City?"

"No thanks dollface." Piper vehemently shook her head. "The paper can wait, besides, I was waiting for you to come back and pick me up for another round of wasteland adventures."

Nathaniel let loose another laugh. "You are definitely not the damsel in distress, I know you could have broken out whenever you wanted."

What? Me?" Piper gasped dramatically. "Never. Why, I'm just an innocent reporter from Diamond City."

Nathaniel gave her a look.

"Okay fine. Maybe I wanted to see you lay the smack down on the raiders to get me back." Piper smiled slightly. "It was oddly romantic."

"I knew it."

"Yeah yeah." Piper silenced Nathaniel by leaning up to give him a quick kiss on the lips. "Back to our adventures?"

Nathaniel smiled down at the woman in his arms. "Absolutely."

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 **Shorter than I like doing but it wasn't supposed to be all that long. Let me know what you think.  
**


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